last day of work today and Y

today is my last at work! 4pm-midnight shift i believe. it is a pool side reception and i get to put some great skills to use and bartend. i have a strange feeling that although there were days at work that i really could not stand, the good parts about work will trump the others and its going to be hard to say goodbye to every one.

last night the girls and i went to the Y's bar...for drinks...not to see if i would have a run in with Y at all....nope not the reason.

we went because we were hoping for a run in.

he ended up getting there and my girlfriends could see him walking in up stairs (the bar is down in the basement). i dont think any of us have ever had a heart attack like that together. they were all saying things like "dont look! here he comes!! oh-my-god! someone tell a story!" and i kept saying "where is he?! what do i do??" haha. i believe we went on like that for a good solid minute.

sure enough he comes over and we say hello. it was a bit awkward but i wasn't really sure what to ask besides "how are you? whats been going on? hows the bar?" etc. when we first talked he rubbed my head quickly, and then stoked my arm quickly. it was as if he was filling words with touch. would have been nice but in this scenario, it was just awkward.

we talked again in the night when he got me a drink.

then when i was leaving we started talking again. i told him i was leaving in two weeks...

"so we'll see each other before you go?" Y

"maybe" S

"maybe you wont leave or maybe we will see each other?" Y

"maybe we will see each other. you know you aren't the best at calling" ok ok, i know i shouldnt have said this but i had a few glasses of wine in me.

side note: during the conversation there were some awkward pauses and i realized his english really isnt that good. its enough for conversation but nothing that complex and hes seems a bit uncomfortable saying certain words. or maybe he was just uncomfortable in this situation and i took it was a language barrier--which could have been it as well.

"i know. i have not..... dated much" Y

 "what do you mean?" 

"i work. you are probably the only 5th date i have been on" Y

wasn't sure what to say, and i felt like it was all a bunch of shiitake (shiitake is from extremely loud and incredibly close. great book. ya'll should read it).

"ok well i can be your 6th in 2 weeks"-me. sounds so very uncool but again, i had had some wine. 

the girls and i left after that and then went to a cafe across from our apt for a little. about 20 minutes after i left i received a text message saying "have a good night..."

"thanks. good seeing you"-me

"you to . . ." Y. i excused the misuse of "to" because of the ESL. 

anyway, that was a closed chapter on this dating story. it was nice to have some closure since i am leaving although his excuse, to me, was so lame. i also am 99% sure he won't call within the 2 weeks before i leave. MEN. 

time to get ready for work. after work i think i am meeting my girlfriends at Clara, an outside bar/club across from where i work and have some celebratory drinks since work is over. can't believe it.

yalla bye

 

teaching english

teaching english tonight was an experience i will never forget. i learned so much, while i taught, in those 3 hours.

i was a bit nervous as i was on my way to the community center--the usual doubts of if i will be helpful enough to make good use of their time, what they will think, if someone will fall asleep, etc. when i arrived, a 20 something from london who recently made alliyah had the work books i needed to teach from. a few minutes later another teacher came in. his name was adam, im guessing in his 30's and a refugee from darfur (like all of the students). he showed me which classroom i would be teaching in and then sat down to talk for awhile...

"how long have you lived in israel?"

"about 2.5 years" 

"do you like it here?"

"not really...it is a very hard life"

"yeah, i have heard if is very difficult to make a good life here"

"what is it like in the states? i'd like to move there but i dont know if it would be any better"

"i think it would be easier than israel, although i am not positive. do you have family here that you would like to take with you?"...i wasn't sure what to say about life being difficult because i really dont know if it would be any easier if he came into the states as a refugee.

"no. i have no one here. what is the minimum wage in the states?"

i let him know what it was and converted it to sheckles. when he asked what the minimum wage i almost started crying. i tried to sound as hopeful as possible as i talked with him, but i wasn't sure if i should have been brutally honest or to continue to speak as if everything would be great, it will all work out, and to just go for it. which would be most beneficial to him in his situation, after every thing he has gone through?

at 7 all of the students for the first class came in. there were 7 students, all from darfur, all men, and all in their 20's i think. they all spoke their native african language, arabic, and the bit of english they have learned. i had a work book to follow but the work book was AWFUL. a lot of it didnt even seem like it was an effective way to teach english. the first exercise was a list of words that they were supposed to translate into their first language, which would have been arabic in the class. since i don't know arabic i wrote the words on the white board, had them repeat after me, and then explained what it was in the simplest english i could come up with. words such as "satellite, experiences, travel, break a record". one word i didnt need to explain was "survivor". i wrote it on the board and all of them right away said "survivor" and nodded their head that they understood.

later in the class i read a passage to them, then asked questions about the passage, then had them repeat the sentence that stated the answer. i went around to each person and had them read it to me. a few of them were having SUCH a difficult time. i wanted to cry. i do know how lucky me, my friends, my peers have it in life, but seeing these men tonight makes those thoughts truly real--not just a thought but an emotion. yes we have our own stresses but i look at these men, and how they are learning english because they HAVE to...to survive. they aren't in israel by choice...they HAD to move here to survive. it just really shook me to the core. 

the next class was an advanced class and only had 3 people. it was a more intimate setting and a few times it was very difficult to convey to them what i was trying to teach in english without being able to speak a common language but we got through it. they were really excited when i explained how to properly ask for someone's phone number. i brought up that it was a great way to ask girls out on a date, but now that i think about it i dont think they knew what "date" meant haha.

when i left i exchanged emails with adam...the refugee who was also a teacher. they asked that i come back to teach next monday however it is my only day to go to egypt before i leave the mid. east. i'm really torn because i want to teach them again. i'm going to ponder while i am at work tomorrow--2 more days left. 

thats all for now. i feel different after this experience and i just hope it doesn't wear off.

lyla tov

s'derot and other news

yesterday the program took everyone on a day long trip to s'derot. s'derot is right next to gaza and is where a lot of the missiles from hamas land. majority of our tour was done by the s'derot media center (http://sderotmedia.org.il). right when we got into s'derot we had a long warning that if we hear "seva odom" over the alarm system we have 15 seconds to get to a bomb shelter (which are all over s'derot). next, we watched a video that was filmed when an alarm went off and a missile hit. one of the camera guys just happened to be filming when it happened. the video was of a gathering of people dancing at a celebration when the alert went off. the missile ended up hitting that area. it showed people hysterical, injured, traumatized. i couldn't help but cry when i saw the video. i am going to try and find it to post on here.

after the video we went outside and saw one of the main playgrounds in s'derot. the whole play ground is surrounded by a snake like tunnel that is actually a bomb shelter. it is so the kids living there can actually have a place to play outside and have a place to go when the siren sounds.

i felt the fear when i was there for some reason. whenever we had lectures in a bomb shelter i felt fine but whenever we were somewhere new having a lecture outside of a bomb shelter i felt a bit uneasy. the latest missile hit 3 weeks ago and landed in someone's home.

at the end of the day we went to the "refugee" camp for the israelis that were moved out of gaza 10 years ago during the disengagement.  one lecturer, earlier in the day, told us that the government originally moved the settlers out in an effort to create some sort of peace with the west bank and realized that they needed to leave that land alone (however once the settlers were pulled out that was when the rockets began hitting israel). 

the settlers, though, were EXTREMELY right and very religious...such as preaching this land is theirs because the torah said so and were angry with the government for bringing them back into israel. everyone in my program, of course, had very different views and challenged them on it. it is always a bit disturbing listening to people who live their life by the torah or any religious background and who don't even think for one second about listening to another's point of view.

anyway, the trip there was eye opening and over all it was devastating to see the way the people in s'derot have to live.

we got home around 7:30 and then at 9pm i went into work for the hotel owner's daugher's bday/send off to the IDF party. i worked the bar, which was fun at first but then these little drunk 17 year old spoiled brats, who actually snapped at me to get my attention, really began to ruin my time. i think i gave them the dirtiest looks my face could create. i got to eat endless sushi though, made a 10 sheckel and a $2 tip, and also loved the music they were playing. i got home around 3am.

Daniel and I

peter, me, and aviva

this afternoon i volunteered at the "day care center" and then tonight i am substituting teaching a english class for darfurian refugees. a leader on the program's friend needed someone to fill in for her tonight so they asked if i would do it. i am teaching an elementary class for one hour and then an advanced class the next hour. i am excited because i think it will be an amazing experience but also a bit nervous because i've never taught english before--or even taught to a class like this. hmm i guess managing meetings is similar but at least we all spoke the same language. 

got to run.

yalla bye

shabbat dinner with family

its 2:30am and i am so exhausted i can barely keep my eyes open but i felt like writing a little bit about my day today. sherri, my one cousin who lives in israel, invited me over to her mother in law's house for shabbat. i have only met her once before this. my grandpa put me in touch with her as she is his first cousin's daughter (i think). i met her at my apt around 1pm to go to the artist market that is near my street. the artist market is one of my favorite places to go but today it was SO hot out. after the market we came back to my apt because i had to pick something up, and i looked in the mirror--i had sweated so much that my hair was so wet it looked like i had just gotten out of the shower.

i stood under my air conditioner for a good 5 minutes, then we left to go to her car--by the time i got there i was drenched again. i love you israel, in the summer. 

next we went to the namal for lunch. although it was hot out, it was surreal to be on the water. the ocean was so blue i almost started crying because for some reason i felt like i was in the most beautiful place in the world at that moment. 

after the namal we went to her house. i haven't been to a suburb in israel yet besides the hotel owner's house of north tel aviv. their neighborhood was very peaceful. it felt like the desert with olive trees and quiet. we went to her house and i met her husband, son (17 yrs old) and daughter (9 yrs old). sherri and zeev (her husband) kept trying to think of guys to set me up with so i would stay in israel haha. she kept saying "you have to staaaay. we need to find you a man so you won't leave" 

at 7pm we went to her mother in laws home for dinner. zeev's sister came with her family as well and she has 3 daughters. im going to call zeev's mom safta. safta made SO much food. they are iraqi so it was all of this amazing iraqi food. one problem though--my new founded vegetarianism. safta came over, she is probably around 85 years old and said "try, try this" and kept putting all of this meat on my plate. i felt AWFUL saying i was a vegetarian--i couldn't say no to safta after she made all of this food so i just ate it. goodbye 5 weeks of vegetarian life. so now i am back to day one of being a vegetarian haha. you just can't say no to a bubby putting anything in front of you. bubby guilt.

for a lot of the dinner hebrew was spoken when they would talk to each other. i would pick up on a few things but not enough to join the conversation. after dinner, we had dessert and sat around and spoke in english. i cannot put in to words the emotions i felt being in an israeli home that considered me family, having shabbat, reading the blessings, saying amen together, eating a ridiculous amount of food, and them allowing me to be in their home and experiencing this culture. at the exact same time i felt as if i was in another world and also seeing part of my identity.

i've realized that one thing i am taking home with me after israel is a stronger sense of identity. it isn't being religious per say, because i still dont consider myself to be religious, but i feel a strong sense of identity because i feel so warmly wrapped in the traditions and my ancestors. i looked at safta, who came to israel from iraq, and i think of my family from poland and russia, and all of the polish and russian jews that came to israel after they survived the holocaust. i look around, and see all of the jewish people from all over the world who are now israelis and i feel such a strong sense of identity finding a people that i am a part of. 

after dinner and dessert

after the dinner zeev and sherri took me out for a drink in neve tzedek at a beautiful georgian bar called 'nana" (mint in hebrew) and then dropped me off at home. meaningul day i'll never forget.

lyla tov.

shalom, my long lost friend (blog). 

i returned from the trip to the north late saturday night and worked monday, tuesday, wednesday so there hasn't been much time to sit back and reflect, write, dance (shocking), etc. 

the trip to the north was packed in a good way. we hiked a lot of the time, went rafting one day, listened to a lecture on the lebanon/israel border, went to tzfat, star gazed, ate a lot of hummus, took a 3 hour nap in the middle of the day after a morning hike due to the sun sucking the energy out of me,  and had a great shabbat. oh and i also fell asleep on the grass outside our room one day (after another hike) for 30 minutes and woke up with drool coming out of my mouth. reaaaal attractive. wouldn't be surprised if half the program walked by during that time.

anywho, here are some pictures...

you cant really tell but that is four of us standing on the rainbow bridge

Tzfat

Hezbollah occupied area of Lebanon

on the way to the banyas...

banyas with arik, one of the security guards for the group

Work on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday was just ok. There was a huge seminar focusing on the ever so exciting topic of bio-technology. Aviva and I (aviva is the new girl from career israel for the summer) walked around a lot, ate SO much food. Honestly, it was like our main goal during this conference since it was so boring was to try and sit as much as possible and eat as much as possible. there was dessert everywhere, and daniel would keep giving us menial tasks so we would keep finding random spots to go hang out at and talk to attendees. i think i need to detox after this week at work.

one day we bar-tended at the outside reception. it was great for a few reasons 1. i didnt have to wear my suit jacket and wore my sunglasses b. i was able to pour some wine into a water glass and drink it out of a straw c. it made time pass much quicker than usual d. i was able to practice my hebrew such as "yine lavan" (white wine) or "yine odom" (red wine).

After work today I met zo and mia at our favorite cafe to search for jobs and then i went to the gym. i am EXHAUSTED from work this week but i am going out tonight with the girls and friends from the program to a bar for reggae night. i feel like i should go out every night until i leave because time is running out here. 

i've been having these awful emotional spurts of realizing that my time here is almost over. thats another entry though. i need to go and get ready. peace and love.

yalla bye.

trip to the north

Here is what my next 4 days look like. Before a trip I am always sad that I wont be at home for an extended amount of time and having my regular life but also excited for what is to come. weird? i swear so much in life, to me, is bittersweet.

also p.s. i forgot to mention that i became a vegetarian a month ago. i was never a huge fan of meat as it was (except i love salami sandwiches and bacon, but such is life). then a month ago, i was sitting at work and something just clicked in me that i dont want to put meat in my body anymore as i thought about the process, and what meat REALLY is. anyway, im going a month strong and i dont see any sign of stopping at this point.

thats it! next post i will have many a memory to post. i still cant believe the program is ending in a month. my girlfriends and i have a name for the end, "CHHHHKKK". we make a sound like a band aid coming off--since when this ends that is what it is going to be like. we are so used to having each other and this life, and then CHHHKKK it will be over, ripped off. 

g-d we are dramatic aren't we?

yalla bye

Northern Israel Tiyul June 10-13, 2009

Wednesday, June 10, 2006

7:30  Jerusalem bus pickup 
8:45  Tel Aviv pickup 
12:00  Visit to an IDF Golani base, “Sharga” to get an in depth look into Israeli security measures (still waiting for approval)   
-Or-  
12:00  Visit to the Rainbow Bridge, a natural wonder on the Northwestern border of Israel  
             Hike in Nahal Kziv

Lunch

 
16:00  Rosh Hanikra, beautiful water grottoes located on the Northern border and a ride in a cable car 
18:45  Check in to the Shlomi hostel 
19:15 Travel to Bet Je’an for traditional Druze hospitality 
20:00  Dinner and explanation about the Druze culture

      Return to Shlomi hostel

Thursday, June 11, 2009

8:00  Breakfast + packed lunch pick up  
9:00  Leave Shlomi, don’t forget your water, hiking shoes, and modest clothes for Tzfat

Choice of hikes:  
Yehudia: a 3-4 hour hike through water pools (swimming is necessary as well as ladder climbing, and some difficult maneuvering) Backpack and bathing suit necessary. You will get wet! 
Zevitan- alternative option, less intense that Yehudia

Lunch with your hiking group

Tour of Tzfat: Lara's and Fred's groups are meeting with Kaballah Artists, Sharon's group doing a tour of the Old City, then the groups will switch.

(Option to volunteer with Livnot Lehibanot- likely will be digging at an archaeological site then studying a bit.)

Return to Shlomi Youth Hostel  
19:00  Dinner at Shlomi hostel 
20:30  Optional movie night at Shlomi  

Friday, June 12, 2009

7:30- 8:30 Breakfast and check out of Shlomi Guest house  
09:00  Leaving Shlomi for Har Ben Tal, panoramic view and discussion about issues of Northern security 
11:00- leaving for Kayaking at Kfar Bloom 
12:00-15:00- Kayaking at Kfar Bloom

Yummy lunch at the end

15:30- leaving for Misgav Am 
16:30- 18:00- Security tour at the Misgav Ha’am Kibbutz 
Possible stop at the “Helicopter Tragedy” Memorial  
18:30- Return to hostel 
19:15  Candle lighting  
19:20  Kaballat Shabbat options  
20:15 Dinner  
21:30  Oneg Shabbat- let’s hang out and spend some quality time together!

Sleeping at the Hermon Field School in the Golan

Shabbat, June 13, 2009

8:00- 9:00 Optional breakfast 
10:00  Shabbat water hike to Nahal Snir, view Syrian tank   
13:30  Lunch  
Free time to relax and enjoy the beautiful surroundings   
17:00-19:00 Mandatory Group activity 
20:45  Buses will return to Tel Aviv and then Jerusalem, plan for late arrival

inside volunteering

i've been wanting to take pictures at volunteer for awhile now, but i felt like i shouldnt take pictures in front of the woman who runs the "day care" since she may not understand why i was taking pictures and get nervous i would turn the shelter in. I could just be very paranoid however, thats the way i felt. i finally was able to take pictures yesterday when mia and i were there. 

mia with some of the kids. the room is a little bit bigger with this with the cribs aligning all walls. as i said before, this "day care" is at least 10 times nicer than the one i went to with brian.

yesterday it was like a sauna (there isn't an air conditioner just a fan) so mia and i were both, pretty much, dripping in sweat within 15 minutes of being there. the day went as usual when we are there--attempting to feed the babies, carrying around the ones that never stop crying, attempt to put them to sleep, etc. 

the big news was that i had to change a babies diaper for the first time. i put the baby down and mia came over to help, she lifted her legs and i started to wipe, got everything clean, and then i had to run to a corner because i started gagging and i actually thought i may puke. errrr. i love babies but i am just not meant for some motherhood type of tasks just yet.

I know I shouldn't play favorites, but I can't help it. I am in love with Michael and I want to take him home with me. Spending time with Michael has gotten me thinking about maybe adopting kids in the future instead of having my own. I am not sure if I would actually do that, but I think I would highly consider it (IF i have kids).

i went for a few hours today and for at least one hour it was just me and one of the 2 women who are there everyday, with 18 babies/toddlers. typically i am not there on my own, or there on a tuesday morning. at one point the 2-3 year olds were acting out a bit (nothing out of the ordinary though, i barely even noticed) when all of a sudden i look up and see one of the woman who work there spanking them with a wooden stick. 

i was holding one of the babies, and watched as she spanked them and then they all began hysterically crying in a corner for a good 3 minutes. it was awful. it didnt look like she hit them that hard but i just can't even fathom spanking/hitting a child. i dont care how much they act out. i didnt say anything, and im not sure if it was even my place to unless it looked like she really hurt them--which it didnt, but it pained me to see them crying like that. i called them over to me, and a few came over while i rubbed them on the back to calm them down. although i didnt feel comfortable saying anything to her, i didnt mind consoling them right after she did what she did. 

i am hoping to start volunteering at other "day cares" as well once Brian puts me in touch with some. its interesting, because although SO much help is needed it is timely and difficult to actually get in and start working--most likely because they are here illegally so its hard to get in touch with who I need to. 

tomorrow i am leaving to go on a trip to the north with my program. the itinerary sounds amazing so i am going to post it on the next post. i have become OCD about blogging and hate to have too long of entries.

yalla bye